A Trip to Contradiction

Marriage, friends, photography and untasteful food!! This was how my trip to Bangalore was.. I had a very good learning curve in my not so recent passion of photography. My next stop.. Mumbai! I was going by bus to Mumbai from Bangalore which I had to board at 6. I packed everything.. was ready with everything.. except for the charge in my mobile! It was a two days, 1 night trip but my stay in Mumbai technically started once the message went to my mom that I have started.

Directions to Nowhere…

I got a truck load of messages which were constantly giving me directions to the house of my grandfather. Every message with a new landmark and a new road of Bandra. My constant reminders of mentioning that I have less charge in my mobile didn’t hinder the bombarding of the messages. As I am working in the online field, at one point I even got the idea of creating a product which replicates Google Maps. But my knowledge of the location was confined to Bandra. At the dying stages of my battery I tried to make a mental map of all the landmarks given in the messages. The passenger beside me struck a conversation with me and I took the opportunity to ask him how to get going about the directions. He was amused and said these landmarks had no relation whatsoever, immediately my mental map became a distant alibi to me. I slept with absolute bliss knowing I have to worry about it the next morning. I experienced my first contradiction.

Mumbai…

My 18 hours journey which was otherwise meant to be only 16hours didn’t curb my excitement of my Bangalore experience. As I couldn’t forget the directions I received all evening the other day, I thought I would give it a shot. I hired an auto and told him where I had to go. It was surprising I reached the destination in much less than the stipulated time (I was there at the doorsteps in 15 mins from my drop point). My second contradiction! After the long journey, the short auto journey made me feel as if I achieved something amazing in Mumbai! With utmost confidence I ring the door bell and expected my mom to open the door but surprisingly my aunt (who by the way I didn’t see for 18 years) opened the door. I see a wide grin and hear “everyone was waiting for you! Come in fast”. I was too excited by my achievement that I just walked in, not bothering to ask her how she was. I enter the house and I face my grandfather sitting opposite the door and my grandmother 1 one hand distance away from me.

I would like to describe the next few seconds in a different way..

Grandmother 1: Would you like to go to Powai?

Me: Absolutely!

I walk three steps still holding my luggage..

Grandmother 2: Take your bath fast and get going..

Me: Absolutely!

I walk another 3 steps.. needless to say with the luggage on me..!

Mom: Don’t waste time, take your bath, finish your lunch and we'll start..

Me: Absolutely!!

From my otherwise strong memory I saw myself in the bathroom on the 73rd second, half naked.

Cleaning up and filling up…

I brushed my teeth emptied my empty stomach and started my bath. When I splashed the first mug of water on my face I realized no one asked me how my trip was!! That’s when it hit me!!! All the messages, the rush in the planning, the hurry-burry instructions.. all this points to one thing, THIS HOUSE RUNS AS A CLOCK! Now me a Hyderabadi guy, have a rather laid back attitude. When I come from a city where the word ‘Immediately’ means 15 minutes at least have a lots to adjust to.

Involuntarily I was completing my bath but my mind was still thinking how to deal with the punctuality. I was suddenly disturbed by a cold breeze hitting the back of my head. There was a window big enough for me (a 6 footer) to jump out, with no grill, no mesh and no curtain. There was a cook lady in her kitchen right opposite the window who I would say was acting as if she was trying to cook. Thinking there is nothing else to save but my respect I slowly close the window and stepped out of the shower not bothering to wash myself anymore. I did hear stories about Mumbai being open minded, but I didn’t know this was also a concept they believed in.

I wore a fresh pair of clothes put my mobile for charging and sat down for my lunch. Now I have started this blog by saying I had tasteless food in Bangalore. I was eager to have some home cooked food and I had a huge appetite contradictory to my thin frame (a contradiction I carry since a long time). I turned the plate over and I instantly see two chapattis landing on my plate. I just looked up to see my grandmother 1 waiting with another chapatti in her hand. This time she was half-hand distance away from me.

I see my mom gobbling her food so fast that by the time she finished her food I couldn’t have spelt ‘Institutionalization’! The bell rang in my head and I also started eating my food fairly fast. My grandmother 1 was constantly asking what I would eat next. She said there was cabbage curry and sambar. Even before I made up my mind and opted for sambar, she took it away saying it was not hot leaving me with very very very less choice. I started eating the food even faster. I hear my grandfather saying in his soft voice “He just came from a long journey… let him have his food at least in peace…” My prayers were heard even before I started praying. I say a ray of light in the shame I was suffering from my bathroom incident. I dared to see the expression of my grandmother and she was ready with curd this time. I had the curd rice but not by choice.

Me, my aunt and my mom all set off to Powai! I tagged along my camera hoping it will come handy.. but not knowing how?

Re-entry to a known arena..

A fact that I missed mentioning was, I have already been to Powai in my previous trip to Mumbai. I was well educated of the scenario there and I was up for the task ahead. Obvious as it was, the journey to Powai from Bandra was silent except for a couple of phone calls by my mom. On entering Powai I was ready to give directions to the driver but I was adamantly interrupted by my aunt as she had a map of the route. As I have been in the location before, I knew the shortest route unlike my aunt who was inclined in not trusting my directions. We went a full circle which was otherwise a simple turn to the right.

We were welcomed with dramatic surprise and awe! The obvious loud laughters of relatives meeting came up and the respectful bows to the elders were completed. I had a cousin who my mom is fond off and who I thought would be my free pass to some fun. Unfortunately he was down with stomach upset and was being fed oats by my Powai aunt. My uncle asked me a couple of questions and everyone sat down to chat leaving me to observe the group discussion. That was when I knew how my camera was going to save me. I clicked away to glory making my relatives think I was some professional. I would be really modest, that actually massaged my ego.

Another set of my relatives stayed close by and my mom asked me to go and bring them along. It was a 2 min walk from their apartment. I got down with my cousin who had to go for an exam. Chatted a bit near the auto stand and wished him luck before he left in an auto. I stopped at a tea stall where I used to have my regular tea and smoke in my previous visit. Once done I set off to my other relative’s place. Once I reached there, I saw my aunt (another aunt) genuinely surprised by my arrival. Another cousin of mine was also surprised. We chatted a bit as she was training her new servant. My cousin struck a conversation with me and we spoke about online marketing with enthusiasm which was absent. I waited for them to get ready and I hear the phone ring. My aunt rushes to the phone and starts talking. Suddenly I hear my name which got me inquisitive. It was a call from my Powai aunt who was checking if I have reached safely to their place!!! I think you might have got an idea that it is unnecessary to mention that I wasn’t surprised.

I took them back and everyone chatted even louder now, as I was clicking away to glory. We finally bid good byes to everyone and we started on our way back. In the car my mom with an apprehensive tone tells my aunt that she is planning to meet another cousin and a family friend who live in Mumbai too. As for me.. I cracked the secret of what the phone calls were meant for while coming to Powai!

It feels like Mumbai…

We first went to our family friend’s place. I was very excited, as I knew them before hand. Both the couple were choreographers in Bollywood and their sons were my age. So I was getting ready for some entertainment. This was going to be my third contradiction. As we entered the house, aunty was working with some servants who were helping her fix a camera to catch a thief in their house. The excitement increases in me. I was going to see how a celebrities house is going to work. She and my mom are best of buds and she was more then ecstatic to see my mother. Her son comes out in the meanwhile and we are introduced. I for one was meeting him for the first time but my mom thought otherwise. She constantly pestered him for 5 minutes that he knew us and we are in touch on Facebook. I tried in vain trying to explain it was the other son who we knew. Until finally aunty convinced my mom that it was indeed the younger son. He invited me into his room and offered me a drink. The excitement increases even more. I obliged his offer and we shared a drink. We had a long chat and we finally went out after finishing our drinks. Aunty insisted me to stay over but my untold love for my mom was overwhelming. I couldn’t leave her in the coaching camp for aspiring NDA students. We left promising to return the next day.

We headed to Juhu to meet my other cousins. Now, I heard a lot from my mom that this is a chilled out family on the way to their house. She told few old stories about my uncle and aunt who I was going to meet. I couldn’t concentrate as I was regretting for rejecting the offer of the second drink.

Juhu aunt received us with absolute happiness and hugged my mom. I was simply admiring the superb view of the beach from the balcony thinking “MAN I have rich cousins!!” We sat down and my uncle came. I knew he was a successful man and I wanted to present the best side of mine.

Over the conversation I was silently comparing the second half of my day to the first half. Silence turned into noise, hostility turned to hospitality, suffocation turned into freewill and most importantly finite time turned to eternity!

The beginning of this blog…

The more we spoke, the more I became myself. Finally, someone in Mumbai asked me how was my bus journey. I was more than eager to tell the whole story and my narrative best (which I can proudly say I adopted from my father) was oozing. Though it was a sad experience of mine, it somehow managed to make everyone including my mom laugh their guts out. My uncle asked me to send the whole story in writing and I decided to write it no matter what. We discussed a little more about keeping the names anonymous and other stuff when he got this brilliant idea of serving us dinner. My second chance in Mumbai to have home cooked food and this time around I was sure I was going to stuff myself.

Wrong guessing….

Mom, who failed to make out which Andheri aunt’s son we knew, did a complete somersault in Juhu. When my cousin came home, my mom with a mischievous smile asked him to guess who she was. He immediately told her name and the relation. With a confused look she asked him how do you know. He gave a complete in-detail explanation of how, when and why he met her. As convincing as his explanation was to everyone, my mom was adamant that he hasn’t met her. Then it took my Juhu aunt a solid 15 minutes of her best sales skill to convince my mom that she has indeed met him. I on the other hand was still thinking of what a nice topic to start of my blogging career this was.

My Juhu aunt was an expert cook and she took me closest to Switzerland. Though I might not have a chance to go to that country I was privileged to have that country’s food. Before we started the dinner my uncle asked me if I wanted to have wine. I appreciated his offer but I rejected to have some by saying I can’t have it in front of my mom. Though my reason was emotional enough to myself I really meant it. He gives me a wide smile of appreciation and said the magic words for me “you have my permission for today, chill out and have it”. A tear fell out of the corner of my eyes out of happiness. But I stuck to my word.

We had an amazing dinner and we chatted more. The more time I spent there, the more I was becoming myself. Suddenly we all heard my mom saying “oh no”. I thought she spilled some cheese over her but the reality made me repeat the words too. Her phone was ringing and you know who was calling!

Enjoying the fear…

We realized we over stayed at Juhu. The time was 10 o’clock and it was late. Contradiction no. 4! In a city where the party starts at 11 we feared of being late at 10. My mom told my grandmother that we just finished dinner and we were about to start. I for one was not going to compromise on my dinner this time. My uncle supported me and we all continued having fun. I had my food with glee. 10 mins passed and my mom’s phone started ringing again. Same caller, same reaction. I was in the dying stages of my dinner which was 10 mins after the second call. Phone rang! My mom didn’t have the courage to answer the call and was holding the phone like a pot filled with acid to the brim. It struck me that she was going through exactly the same feelings which I go through when she calls me late nights back in Hyderabad. For the first time in my life I had an instance where I could empathize with her. I finally finished my dinner and we headed back to the military base. By the time we rang the door bell in Bandra it was 11:30! We were directly sent to bed. I went to sleep with a smile on my face thinking of the moment where I enjoyed the fear of my mom!!

New day, old job….

I was woken up by my grandmother 2 who was up rather early than usual. She asked me to get ready fast. In my half sleep I almost said “Absolutely!”, but then I quickly gathered myself and asked her why? She said my mom is getting ready to go out, so if I want to tag along with her I have to get ready. I immediately saw the hidden opportunity and started getting ready. Brushed my teeth, had some coffee, took my bath with the window closed (which might have disappointed the cook a little) and gobbled my breakfast. I was served pulao in the breakfast and I was wondering why? It was revealed to me later by my mom that it was the dinner which was cooked for us the previous night.

As I was not used to having heavy breakfast, I was forcing the food down my food pipe. I could almost hear my stomach cursing me for the sudden change in the routine. In the meanwhile I was hearing my grandfather giving me detailed routes and the transpiration facilities to my mom to Worli! I saw the opportunity and finished my breakfast which was my lunch on a normal day to set off with my mom. Once we came down my mom sighed, turned to me and said -“Where shall we go now?”

Feeling Mumbai again…..

The very mention of the question my brain started working faster. This was the first time in my life that my mom turned to me for advice. I realized I was an adult! Without any hesitation I said Andheri aunty’s place! She was in for the idea and we left to her place. There was a brief moment of disappointment when aunty didn’t pick up our calls. But we decided to be at her place either ways. Just as we reached her doorsteps we get a call from her which made us more than happy. Uncle also landed from Chennai the previous night and we chatted for some time with him. Unconventional as they were, uncle advised aunty to take us out for shopping. We all got ready, we set off for shopping. Though I was going back to Bandra, I was more excited than disappointed this time.

We shopped had a decent lunch and we bid good bye to aunty and thanked her for her hospitality. She brushed aside all the formalities and said “next time around you know where to land up when in Mumbai”.

Over the top of Necklace city….

We went back to Alameda Park at 3 and our flight was due at 8. Our check in time was 7 so we had to start by 6:30 to the airport. I somehow deep down had a wish to capture my grandfather. The original agenda of the trip was to meet my grandfather who was not in good health. My enormous ego at that moment forced me to be myself and I dared to use the camera in the house. I started clicking his pictures and finally I was for the first time being myself. I packed my bags, got everything ready and it was time for the family picture. Though the picture came out well, by reading in-between the lines I could make out that my aunt and grandmother 1 were more concerned about us finding a taxi to the airport.

I got the taxi, loaded the luggage. Went up to the house took blessings from my grandparents, wished my aunt and played around with her kids for sometime (Yes! There were kids in the house. They were 7 and 6). We went to the airport checked in first and waited to board. As this was the first time I was getting into a flight since I went to New Zealand way back when my mom used to worry about my wet diapers, my grandmother 2 tried to instill fear in me. I acted scared for her satisfaction and asked her to give me some advice. Finally we got into the boarding bus where I offered my seat to a very pretty lady who was not married. I didn’t bother approaching her as I was happy to get back to Hyderabad and also because she was a little intimidating. We got into our seats and I took the seat with little butterflies in my stomach. The plane took off the ground and I saw the city becoming smaller and smaller.

When we were high enough to see the whole city from the top, I had my finally thoughts in Mumbai – “SHIT!! I have altitude sickness!”

PS: As an attempt to not hurt anyone, I have tried to keep the characters anonymous. I have not leveraged the unending naming of the relations used in our Indian culture, instead I used the simple western culture relations where all the women of mother's age are aunts and the women of grandmother's age are grandmother. Same goes to men. Therefore read with a little concentration. Appreciate your patience. 

PS 2: This article doesn't imply to any hard feeling of mine to my family. It is purely a journal of my experience of how a bunch of families of the same family tree, living in the same city, having the same social status have different lifestyles. It was amusing to me personal and I thought of sharing my experience.